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 Ok so, I was watching MLP:FIM, as I always do when I'm eating lunch at home.
I usually listen with one ear, whilst doing other stuff.

Today... The episode ("Hurricane Fluttershy") was about scared Fluttershy not wanting to train for flying with her fellow Pegasi, because she was called names in her youth when practising her flying.

So here's the thing: I try to avoid talking about my difficulty with sports and physical activity when I'm around people I don't know, or even close friends. My dad used to make fun of me because I ran really slowly ("She's almost going backwards!") and I always feel like even when I make an effort, it's not enough.

The episode had barely started and I was already crying. I can't stand thinking about people laughing at me, or just looking at me while I'm doing any form of physical activity. I find that even running to catch a bus is humiliating.

So anyway. Fluttershy was amazing, as usual, especially when she tried training by herself and didn't get the results she expected: she ran away, crying, and didn't want to go back, until she was their only hope of getting the group effort they needed.

For me, seeing this ep. was a bit of therapy, even though I don't think a 30-min episode is what I need to get over my past ghosts.

But it's a start.

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mapy

December 2013

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